Research From Princeton: 13 Proven Hacks That Boost Your Influence & Make You More Confident
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Thu, August 10, 2023
Podchat Summary

Unlocking Charisma: Tips for Confidence and Influence

In this episode of the podcast, host Mel Robbins sits down with Vanessa Van Edwards, an expert on charisma, communication, confidence, and influence. Together, they delve into the fascinating world of charisma, discussing its importance and how it can be learned. If you've ever wondered how to appear more confident and influential to others, this episode is a must-listen.

The Power of Charisma

Contrary to popular belief, charisma is not about being extroverted or physically attractive. Instead, it revolves around signaling high warmth and competence. Robbins and Van Edwards emphasize that charisma is a crucial aspect of success, impacting relationships, professional endeavors, and the ability to build trust and credibility.

Learning Charisma

While some individuals may naturally possess charisma, it is a skill that can be learned and developed. The episode provides listeners with valuable tips and strategies for cultivating charisma in their own lives.

Mastering First Impressions

The first 10 seconds of a Zoom call, for example, can significantly influence how others perceive you. Robbins and Van Edwards stress the importance of showing your hands and maintaining an appropriate distance from the camera to project confidence and trustworthiness.

Avoiding Credibility Pitfalls

One common credibility pitfall discussed in the episode is uptalk, which involves using a question inflection at the end of sentences. This vocal pattern can undermine your credibility and should be avoided. Instead, Van Edwards suggests using warm cues such as a slow triple nod, tilting your head slightly, and using vocalizations like "mmm" or "wow" to show engagement and interest.

Building Rapport Through Communication

Effective communication plays a vital role in charisma. Van Edwards shares insights on using warm words and striking a balance between warmth and competence in emails to build rapport and trust with others.

Be Purposeful and Set Boundaries

Throughout the episode, the importance of being purposeful with your cues and behaviors is emphasized. Robbins and Van Edwards remind listeners that they have the power to shape how the world treats them. By being intentional and setting boundaries, individuals can project confidence and influence others in a positive way.

If you're looking to enhance your confidence and influence in various situations, this episode offers practical advice and actionable steps to help you unlock your charisma.

Original Show Notes

In this episode, you’re getting a crash course in 13 essential hacks that will help you be more successful, and they’re backed by surprising research out of Princeton.


Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of the behavior lab The Science of People, a behavioral investigator, body language expert, and bestselling author who specializes in the kind of science-based people skills most of us never hear about.


Vanessa’s research proves that anyone can learn these practical skills, earn the trust of others around them, and become more confident, competent, and reliable.


News flash: You don’t have to be an extrovert to be successful.


Whether you want to be a better leader, land your dream job, achieve big goals, or align your life with what you want, this is the episode for you.


Listen, and you'll learn:


  • 3 things you must do in the first ten seconds of a Zoom call to appear trustworthy and reliable
  • How to nail any interview by building unstoppable confidence
  • Why do you keep getting passed over for a promotion?
  • The words you need to get the bonus or raise you deserve
  • Why a second impression is just as important as the first
  • How a fake smile will ruin your reputation
  • The simple mistake we all make when asking for what we want
  • How do you spot a liar?



This is an encore episode that is packed with tools, tips, and scripts to boost your chances of success. With new and exciting insights from me at the top of the episode, you will leave feeling more confident for your next interview, first date, or wherever you are upleveling in your life. 


You owe it to yourself to learn how to cultivate unstoppable confidence and influence, and you can do that in just a few minutes. 


Xo, Mel 


In this episode, you’ll learn:

2:23: The shocking research from Princeton about how people size you up.

4:50: What exactly IS charisma and what does it look like?

6:58: Why high achievers can’t just rely on their intelligence.

8:15: Two types of awkward people and how to tell.

14:14: Are you highly competent? Look for these three signs.

16:42: What highly competent people are missing.

21:27: What highly warm people are missing.

23:58: The ONE thing you need to do in the first 10 seconds of your Zoom call.

28:06: A simple test that will help you figure out how charismatic you are.

32:10: The reason why you keep getting passed over for that promotion.

40:08: Why you should never fake a smile. 

46:02: Three ways you can start building your charisma today.

47:42: Why a second impression is as important as the first.

51:07: Five silent cues to command respect in any situation.




Made with ☕️ in SF/SD.
© 2023 Spyglass Search, Inc.